"And I know that you want to change me
Want to rearrange the way I feel inside
Yes, I've heard that you take
The broken hearts of lonely souls
And make all things right"
Eleven years ago in June 1995. God placed me and my wife here at West Houston
Therefore, thanks to the graciousness of our elders, my plan is to take a month long sabbatical to seek God concerning the details of plans for me and family’s future. The sabbatical will last from December 10th – January 10th and then to I plan finish my duties as a youth minister on staff on February 25th.
My dear church family, my love for you runs deep. You have watched me grow up. You have always welcomed and cared for us. You were there when we struggled through three years of waiting to have children and you have loved my family as if they were your own. My prayer for you is that you grow in deep relationship with God and each other and that you will make disciples of Christ as you are transformed in the your relationship with God and each other.
I want you to know that I love you and entrust you to God. Many times when a minister leaves a church many wonder and speculate as to the reasons. Please don’t do this. It will only grieve my spirit and I believe it will grieve God’s as well. The elders here love me and I love them and we both love you dearly and desire what it is best for you. Even though the visions that we have are leading us into different paths, there is no bitterness, anger or strife - just different paths. God calls each of us to where he will lead and no matter where we are or where we go God ultimately is directing all.
Please feel free to speak to myself or any of the elders with questions that you may have. I love you with the amazing love that I have received from Christ.
I sit here at the computer with a mirror in front of me and as I look directly into it you may think I see myself. Sadly, that is not what I see, at least not this time. I see what I have been taught to see. I see misplaced hairs, blemishes, acne, gray hairs that peek out from my beard like flags of conquest and the redness of tired eyes. Then there have been other times after a good bit of primping and touch-up work to my face and hair, a hero appears in my mirror and he has it all together. He has the coolness of Shaft, the integrity of Superman, the intelligence of Einstein and the wit of your favorite talk show host. Yet this picture is still not me. Why is that I (and maybe others of you who are reading this) have so many differing views of the same person that I see in the mirror everyday? Maybe it is because we have been taught a faulty way to look in the mirror and see ourselves.
Let me explain with a story. I once saw a yard that was filled with wild flowers. When I looked, I saw what looked like just a bunch a blossoming weeds that had completely swallowed up this yard, especially when seen next to one of those subdivision manicured "yard of the month" lawns. Now, If my daughter were to lay eyes on that wild flower monstrosity. She would say something like, 'Look at the pretty flowers, Daddy.' My daughter sees the beauty in the wild flowers because she has not received the Homeowners Associations letters that say you can not let your yard grow wildly. I, on the other hand, have learned very well what a good yard looks like. It is one that doesn't embarrass the neighbors or make other people fear the loss of value to their homes. It has evenly cut yards with beautiful symmetrical flower beds and absolutely no weeds. Can you see where I am headed? I have been taught to look at yards based on a communal standard. The home owners, neighbors, parents, and even I have set the standard. So now I look with a comparative lens at each yard I see, as opposed to taking the yard for what it is.
In the same way I believe that, at times, I see myself through a comparative lens, comparing myself to one person or another and I thereby judge myself based on this standard that has been handed down to me. This leaves me feeling at times like I am on the top of the world and other times like I am on the bottom of the manure pile.
So what do I do? Do I just accept this standard that leaves me feeling up or down at any given moment, do I just chunk the mirror to never consider what I look like or could there be another standard?
I want to explore that latter option. Let's look at this other standard. My Father (I mean my heavenly one) says he doesn't see people like we do. He looks at the heart. When he described David he described him as a "man after his own heart." Was David perfect? No. But he was seeking to know God and striving to be like him. We are made in God's image. I believe God sees us as that. Yet, we have blemishes, faults or sin (to use more religious language) that taints the image that we have been made in. Here is the thing about a blemish. It may change my appearance but it doesn't change me.
So here is what I am suggesting, when we look at ourselves we should look through the lens of how God has created us. This means when I look in that mirror again I will see myself ... but I will still see blemishes. Remember Isaiah in Chapter 6 of his book, he sees God (the standard) and says, 'Whoa, I am unraveled because I have unclean lips.' Our natural response in the face of perfection is to recognize our imperfections. You may say, "Well, how does that help? We are in the same position we were in when we had the communal standard." Then I would reply, 'Not exactly.' If we look at the mirror through God's standard then we see the image of God in us. Yes, it has blemishes but we see the image of God instead of just seeing the blemishes. Then a beautiful thing occurs when we realize that we were meant to be blemish free. We turn to God (we confess our sin) and he begins to give us a complete makeover. Isaiah's makeover came when a hot coal from God's altar was placed on his lips to clean them. After we recognize our blemishes and turn to God, then as time passes and we allow God to work he removes our blemishes and we begin to experience who we were created to be. We experience the fullness of God dwelling in us.
Don't get rid of the mirror. Get a new standard so you can see clearly into it. Then turn to Jesus and enjoy becoming who you are.